


Filthy Beautiful

by Miaou Jones (miaoujones)



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Rentboys, Durarara!! Kink Meme, Gen, Kink Meme, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-06-30
Updated: 2010-06-30
Packaged: 2017-10-13 23:35:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/142925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miaoujones/pseuds/Miaou%20Jones
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shizuo has had a bad fucking day. It's about to get worse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Filthy Beautiful

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for the [Durarara!! Kink Meme](http://drrrkink.livejournal.com). Standalone for now, though I'd very much like to write more in this ficverse someday...

The break Shizuo thought he caught in this case has turned out to be not so much a break as a chasm and instead of getting out, he's fallen in deeper, deep down to hell, and the theologians are wrong: Hell is not cold, it's hot, and the heat makes everything worse. The filth, the stench. The everything. Shizuo's had a bad fucking day and he's not in the mood for this fucking heat. He's not in the fucking mood for any of it. He would put his fist through the wall, except he's already done that. And it didn't help.

He's thinking about doing it again, anyhow, when a car slows to a halt at the boys' corner. Shizuo's seen this car before. He's seen them get in, sometimes both boys but more usually just Kida.

Yeah, Shizuo's seen Kida get in this fucking car and he's seen Kida, what's left of him, get out of this car. And he's never done a fucking thing, never said a fucking word, because Tom told him fucking not to and his word is law, not just 'cause he's Shizuo's boss but because the words he speaks are in the service of the actual laws of this fucking town.

Now Kida is leaning down. His face disappears from view but his hand is on the roof of the car. He hasn't gotten in yet.

Shizuo drops his cigarette butt and doesn't bother to grind it out with the heel of his boot as he starts across the street. It comes naturally now, to walk away from a burning cigarette; after two years here, he no longer has to remind himself to throw things away casually.

He doesn't look at Mikado as he goes by. His eyes are only on Kida. Kida, in the car. The car door still open. Kida on his knees on the backseat. Kida, reaching back blind, twisting a little, reaching for the handle—

Shizuo takes him by the wrist. Kida starts in his grip, turns and looks at the hand on him; Shizuo feels Kida look up to his face but their eyes don't meet, because now Shizuo is looking at the other person in the backseat. His fingers tighten around Kida's wrist. Kida doesn't move at all.

"Out," Shizuo says to Kida, his eyes boring into the man in the backseat.

Kida doesn't move.

Orihara Izaya also doesn't move. Doesn't blink. He meets Shizuo's stare evenly; returns it with one of his own.

Smiles.

Shizuo waits for him to speak. To refute the order Shizuo's given, to question or countermand it.

Orihara Izaya smiles. He doesn't even touch Kida, and still Kida doesn't move.

"Get out," Shizuo says. He doesn't know what he's doing. As much as Shizuo would like to go after Orihara fucking Izaya, he isn't part of the case. Not so far as Shizuo knows, anyhow; it's been said, probably by the man himself, that Orihara Izaya is part of every fucking thing in this town and at the same time, part of none of it. Fuck, that really pisses Shizuo off.

So yeah, no, right in this moment, staring at Orihara Izaya fucking smile at him, Shizuo doesn't have an assignment or orders. He doesn't even have a plan. He's stopped thinking. It's like the way he used to fight before Tom recruited him for the force, before Tom took him under his wing, trained and retrained him. Before that, Shizuo was pure instinct.

Nothing pure about this at all.

Shizuo wants to reach for his gun. He wants to pull it out and point it at Orihara Izaya's stare, point it at his smile. He can just imagine Tom finding him like that. He can just imagine where it would go from there. He can't imagine that a bullet could stop Orihara Izaya's smile. He imagines bullets and bullets and he throws away the gun and smashes that smile with a closed fist and even as teeth and blood spray from Orihara Izaya's mouth, all over Shizuo and himself and fine leather upholstery of the car, Orihara Izaya is laughing and laughing, and Shizuo hits him harder and harder, again and again and—

He is out of control. His imagination has run wild, run away with him. His life is flashing, not before his eyes but behind them, flashing inside. Flashforwarding. At the hospital, Kasuka will cry. He has never seen his brother cry. He never will. At his funeral, Simon will speak. Tom will not.

He is out of control. He can see it, but it isn't real. Nothing is real.

The only thing real is Kida's hand in his.

Shizuo looks down. He had taken Kida's wrist, but now he's holding Kida's hand. He looks at Kida. Only at Kida.

"You don't have to do this," Shizuo says to Kida. He lets go, keeps eye contact: "You don't."

Kida's eyes flick off Shizuo; not back to Orihara Izaya. Forward; beyond.

Mikado, Shizuo remembers.

Kida scrambles out of the car.

Shizuo waits for Orihara Izaya to tell him that he's made an enemy tonight, or at least that he's made a mistake.

Orihara Izaya smiles at him. Fucking smiles at him.

Then Orihara Izaya gestures and, before Shizuo can figure out what it means, Mikado steps up and shuts the door. The car drives off, no slower or faster than usual.

After it turns the corner, Shizuo looks at Kida. Kida glances off when Shizuo looks at him, like he doesn't want to be caught looking.

Shizuo looks at Mikado. Can't read the expression there.

Again at Kida, who has turned to look the opposite direction. Like he's expecting the car to come back around.

Shizuo's expecting it.

Nothing comes.

"Come on," Shizuo hears himself say. He looks at Kida. Kida looks at Mikado. Mikado looks at Shizuo.

"Yeah," Mikado says. "Okay."

Shizuo can just imagine Tom catching him like this.

Oh fuck it, he thinks. Fuck it all to hell.


End file.
